Inside a Girl

Jesco White - The Dancing Outlaw

I'm part of a secret cult. People who silently worship a bonafide tap dancing fool. For years I'd heard of this man, been told by several people that I had to see the documentary, that I would laugh my ass off. I was intrigued & wanted to see it. But the video was hard to find. In the beginning, the video was passed from household to household or viewed at Jesco White parties. Few people still had it and for a while, it couldn't be purchased on the internet.

A few months ago, I wandered upon another little jewel, a documentary by Rory Kennedy titled A Boy's Life. I scanned HBO listings religiously trying to find it again, praying it would air. It's the story of an eight year old boy who has been taken from his mother, Robanna & lives with his grandma, Anna. Anna claims that Robert has severe mental issues, has tried to kill himself, has killed cats & dogs & totes him from therapist to therapist. She shoves pills down his throat, restrains him when he becomes 'violent'. (Most episodes are provoked by her.) And is trying to get a disability check for Robert. I would be lying if I said the documentary didn't crack me up. There are lines from it that have made their way into my repertoire, Robanna's "I'm gonna lose weight. I'm gonna get me some teeth. I'm gonna go back to school and maybe I'll make something of myself if I put my mind to it." A scene between Robanna & her mom, after a visit to the gynecologist is especially heart-warming. Anna: "They're just using you as a damn guinea pig. I better find out she's not a quack." Robanna: "Beggars can't be choosers, Mama. When somebody comes down here and gives me 2 thousand million dollars then maybe I can find someone who'll treat me like a damn human being and maybe I can get something done." All this is said while the camera zooms in on Robanna's face & the gap where her two front teeth used to be. Poor little thing. There are dozens of moments like that in this documentary. But it also, over all, enraged me and is just the perfect example how one person's mental illness poisons entire generations. When removed from his grandma's home & returned to his mother, Robert began to blossom. Robanna wasn't nearly as ignorant as she was when she was around her mother & seemed to be capable of handling her kids.

Finally, HBO aired this one again. I taped it & toted it from house to house, tickled to death that others were going to hear the lines that I'd been inserting into conversations for months.

When I showed it to Dave, he mentioned The Dancing Outlaw again & began a search to find the video so I could see it. He found the 30 minute video & I almost lost it. I finally understood (years after the taping) what all the hype was about. The intro features Jesco White tap dancing on a swinging bridge & singing "If you wanna get to heaven you got to raise a little hell!" while cutting to clips of Jesco & his wife, Norma Jean, sitting in separate doorways of their trailer, arguing. Norma Jean: "But you can't hit me again & cause me pain." Jesco: "Yeah, I've threatened your life many a time over and over just to get you to shut up." He then goes on to tell his stories: being locked up in Pruneytown, huffing lighter fluid & gasoline, getting all that good stuff in his body, putting a butcher knife to his wife's throat, the tragedy of his dad's death.

Lines that float through my head randomly & make me laugh so hard that people might begin to think I'm touched in the head:

"Man I got a double super buzz."

"I enjoyed myself from within myself on behalf of myself."

"My past is coming up into my future and messing with my good life."

"And I took the butcher knife and put it up to her neck. I said If you wanna live to see tomorrow you better start fryin them eggs a little bit better than what you a fryin 'em. I'm tired of eating sloppy, slimy eggs."

"I mean I was an animal. A no good beast. I'd kill anybody just for a drink of water. But this Elvis collection took that away from me. I mean it's just like a burden was lifted."

"It took the zar out of my heart to have a baby. The way this world is."

"Anybody will say anything under the influence of madness. Marriage is a wonderful thing. They's happiness in it. They's joy in it. But they's also sorrow, hatred and madness."

On the night his father was shot:

"We got ready to leave and, uh, we got half way home and I said, Norma, I said I forgot my sunglassesup at Mommy's and something was just a telling me to go back and get my sunglasses. I said I want to go back and get my sunglasses. I just let Dorsey (his brother) borry em to wear. I didn't give em to him. She said Jesse that's a awful long way to go back & get them sunglasses. We'll go back tomorrow & get 'em. I said No Mam, by GOD, we're gonna go back tonight & get em. I said I paid for em and ain't no other God-you know what gonna wear em. I said them's mine & mine only. And I said I will go back & get em. She said No, I don't think that's the thing to do, said I'm tired. Let's go home & go to bed. I said You're gonna go to bed alright. You're gonna to go to bed in a coffin if you don't turn this vehicle around and go back my glasses. I said I'll blow you're f-ing brains out all over the dash & I won't hesitate one minute about doing it. I said I wanna go back & get my shades. I said I'm pissed off cause you want to come on home & my costly shades a laying up there with some other weirdo a wearing em."

"And it hurt me so bad to see him shove my father in that kinda shape and I just went crazy as a bat."

"If I was at my right mind and hadn't been under the influence of alchohol or drugs, I believe I'd shot everybody there & then turned the gun on myself."

"I could never outthink him or outdance him. He's gone but not forgotten."

"We didn't hardly show each other that we loved each other. The names he called me, the bastards, the little ole sons of bitches, he didn't mean that. He really loved me."

So now, I'm an unofficial member of the Jesco White fan club. This DVD has been toted from house to house. And I still have quite a bit of toting to do. I'm also convinced that similarly funny footage could be found right around these parts. I've thought about packing a video camera around & just saying "Tell me a story." I'm sure I could find some real gems.

If you haven't seen this one though, find it, watch it, love it. It's worth every minute of your time & money.

View more pics of Jesco.
Watch a video clip from The Dancing Outlaw.
Purchase The Dancing Outlaw.