[ Sunday, April 04, 2004 ]
I don't know what this is. But it feels right. Complete freestyle writing.
~
because i wanted
one big love
then
four thousand nine hundred
tiny ones
~
because i wanted
a sundance ending
complete with
a liftime of sequals.
~
because i
don't know myself
anymore.
~
because i
am terrified of drowning
in my own bullshit.
~
because this
is getting hard
and the digging
just hurts.
~
because i am full of
insecurity of
not good enough of
never being
the woman
i'm supposed to
become.
~
because i allowed you
to validate
the stringy haired girl
inside of me.
~
because 25 is five
from thirty
and i'm beginning to
feel old.
~
because the diamonds
at friedman's counter
blinded my eyes last night
and i just wanted
something shiny.
~
because this is getting
ridiculous
and i should be
flogged
for putting you
through this.
~ Rebecca 11:05 PM [+]
I just read this poem for the first time and even though you are just in the next room, I felt like I needed to respond to you through writing not spoken word.
It amazes me how similar people can feel. I too want the sundance ending and am full of insecurity of not becoming the woman I am supposed to. With all the changes I am scrambling to remember my core and modify the parts that need changing.
This is a beautiful poem. I relate and don't know how I missed it.
Love ya,
Billie
By 
, at
6:44 PM
