[ Thursday, July 03, 2003 ]
I am quite smitten with a boy.
His name is Dakota Ellis.
He's fourteen days old w/ black hair & blue eyes.
Life is so full of tiny miracles & messes. Tuesday night Lisa went to the hospital to be induced. Due to preclampsia & toxemia her doc. thought it best to go ahead and have the baby. At 7:30 on Wed. morning he broke her water. We waited, waited, waited, waited. Watched her contractions on a moniter, wetted wash clothes, wiped her face. By 8:00 that evening she had only dilated to 4 centimeters. Because of her condition & the length of time since her water had been broken, Dr. Chamberlain prepped her for an emergency C-section.
Tiny miracles, I'm telling you.
Cody's umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck.
Standing outside the O.R. I heard her mother (who is a nurse & works quite closely with the O.R. crew) gasp "Oh no." Then we heard that little cry.
There was such a crew waiting for him outside the Operating Room, lined up single file with cameras & smiles & tears.
I bawled like a baby. And felt such love. For Lisa. For her new little one. For her mother. For the process.
Watching Lisa's labor really was one of the most beautiful moments I've ever encountered. And not for the typical reasons one would say that labor, that birth is beautiful. The pain that Lisa encountered during her labor...brought out the core of who she is. During hard contractions, she closed her eyes, cried but never ever whimpered. I mean the girl didn't make a sound. She bore her pain in the most beautiful, graceful way. There are no other words to describe it. She was at her most dignified.
And to watch the relationship between Lisa & her mother...to see it played out in front of me; how tenderly Marcy stroked her hair or washed her face. It was just such a beautiful & moving moment to witness.
Of course I'm in love with that baby.
The day after delivery Lisa's mom came down with a bad case of something. So I got to drive Lisa & the new baby home from the hospital (talk about a nervous wreck!) & intended on staying a few days to help out until everyone got better & Lisa was healed enough to tend to the baby. I'm just now getting home. We've slept with Cody in the bed between us.
That first night I was up every five minutes, running to the crib, making sure he was breathing.
The second night the bumper pad came off the crib so I could see him at all times.
The third night he was in the bed with us & I slept with my hand on his back so I could feel him breathing.
Life is so full of miracles. They're brewing when we least expect them. When we're not even watching for them.
It's a thousand wonders Lisa didn't miscarry with Cody. She was five months along before she knew for certain. She was still having periods. We lived rough. Rode four-wheelers over hard terrain. Fell off them into creeks. Got no sleep. Talked about what we would do if we were pregnant. And all the while, this little life was brewing...inside her body...listening to every corny joke we told...listening while we sang.
I can't say that this experience hasn't made me want a baby. But when the timing is right. When I'm settled. When I can be a mother first & foremost. And am satisfied with being that. I've felt the urge to nest for the last couple of weeks. I don't know exactly how I'll sleep tonight with that little thing 20 minutes away instead of right beside me.
But I'm just so proud & so smitten & tonight life for me is such a fragile, delicate, beautiful thing. Because there is no softness in the world that can compare to that of new skin. And there is no warmth quite like the warmth of such a tiny soul balled up in your arms & cuddling the crook in your neck.
So so so much love.
~ Rebecca 12:17 AM [+]
