[ Sunday, April 06, 2003 ]
"thinking of the girl i was / drawing blood / luring you along"
A line by Rachel somebody.
In Berea art dept. (1996 ?), I saw a very simple watercolor done by a student. A line figure walking in a field. Along the bottom was written. "He raped me while the flowers watched and got off." I'll never forget my reaction to that piece. How it's clung to my brain and comes back to me in those silent moments. Of all the beautiful, framed, intricate art in that room...one 8" x 11" piece slung on a desk in the corner touched me most.
About a week ago a lady commisioned me to do a piece for her. Simple black tree on greyscale background. Watched The Ring today. Noticed my tree. I wanted to do a mottled grey background. Very rough..almost concrete looking. That stems from my obsession w/ texture lately. Especially with rough black sketches on top of textured surfaces. I ended up doing a grey swirl background. Should have it posted on my website sometime soon.
Tomorrow, I'm taking a look a lady's house. She wants a folk art style painting of her house & yard around it. It's not necessarily the art that I like to do. But it is a way to explore this avenue & maybe I can turn some people on to my more abstract/dark art. I'm going to sell one of my paintings. I've tried before but could never bring myself to do it. To sell your art is to give a part of yourself away. I like to keep it all hoarded. Strange but, yeah, I'm a hoarder. I'm admitting it now. I learned during a Life Space Crisis Intervention training that hoarding is sometimes a symptom of fear of abandonment. That struck me hard. Had never really thought about it...But there could be a connection. Or it might be more of a regional thing. Maybe that notion of "Save for hard times" has been intsilled in my head. Either way I save for the hardest of times.
None of this is interesting, I know. But sometimes a girl quietly contemplates. Sometimes she has nothing to say. Meant to get my Cynthia Nelson out of the car before I came in. Been wanting to re-read her lately. Haven't gotten around to it.
I'm going to do a 101 on here soon. I've done too many at Anna's. Plus it's a good way to get to know myself. And..if anyone ever reads. A good way for someone else to get to know me. Essentially I think that's the attraction to this. Momentary connection to someone we otherwise wouldn't notice.
Something like that. I'm gone.
~ Rebecca 11:58 PM [+]
